This Week and September 11

Aloha Island School ‘Ohana,

My work involves a fair amount of writing, and in the middle of this week, I had to type 9/11 more than once. Now I donʻt know about you, but it remains true for me that I cannot put together those numbers without an unconscious pause that lands on my fingers. And so even while I dug out my “tan” pants for Kindergarten’s final color day in their Rainbow unit this week on Wednesday, 9/11, I couldnʻt help but think how this date has such importance not only across the country but for Kauaʻi especially. For this community, the 1992 impact of Hurricane Iniki on 9/11 and then the terrorist actions in 2001 on the same day of the calendar doubly marked this date as one that is lodged in people’s memory. And so in thinking about these major events, events that shaped people’s lives, transformed communities, and left lasting imprints across Kauaiʻi and the nation, I canʻt help but reflect on how we respond to the unexpected and shore up our children to have the resilience to move forward through loss and pain. Ultimately, our work in the school and at home is to help our students face challenges and disappointments in small, medium, and even large ways, so that when life’s tsunami-sized challenges come, and they will, they have the self-confidence and strength to believe they can try to find a way forward, and if they need help, they know how to ask. This is our collective work…

Please donʻt get me wrong, I am in no way advocating heartless pressure or “tough love” for the sake of resilience. What I am advocating for, and encouraging in our classrooms, on the athletic field, on stage, in our homes, is for young people to have to stretch and do things even when they are not sure if they can do it. Childhood and adolescence is the time to learn how to bounce back from hurt feelings, disappointment, saying words out of anger and having to apologize, failing a test or a quiz, doing a presentation and no one can hear you…these challenges build resilience and grit, especially when our young people are encouraged and supported to think through options and actions and reflect on them afterward – what worked and what didn’t. 

I learned resilience as a gymnast…our coach pushed and pushed - while encouraging me and making sure I knew he believed in me. There was a time I was learning to do a double-back as a part of my floor routine. I would miss the landing in the foam pit or over-rotate - either face-planting or landing flat on my back, and have to go at it again, and again, and again. As a college student, I submitted a piece of writing during my first real summer job, and when I got it back, my boss had “tore it up” with a red pen. It was bleeding, and I put my head down limply after receiving it, as if I had actually lost blood. But my parents, coaches, and teachers had taught me to get back up, learn from what was wrong, and by the next summer, I was a lead writer for our team. When I became an English teacher many years later, I gave tough edits to my students. Sometimes they felt deflated too. I would share with them as well as their parents that my hard edits and tough grading were because I believed in them, because I wanted them to get that from me and to learn new skills then instead of in their first job. And as we continued to work together, we built our relationship to know that I was in it with them, and that together we were all working together for each student to grow.

OK, ok, is this really connected to 9/11 and Hurricane Iniki and attacks on our country? For me it is, maybe for you too. That pause when I type 9/11 takes me to different places every year in my memory and in my work. This year it took me to the power of the work we do every day with our students, your children. It took me to the importance of each stone we lay as we shore up our children to have the lessons and skills they need for their future. I cannot prevent storms or hatred, but I can work hard to ensure our children are strong, compassionate people that know how to care for themselves, each other, their community, and the land and water around them. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to do that work here with you.

Together,

Nancy Nagramada, Head of School

n.nagramada@ischool.org